Adieu...

Not long ago...fairly recently, actually...you were my friend. After many years, we were brought together by a common bond that made us almost inseparable. I grew to love you very dearly...the kind of love you normally reserve only for family. We were as close as two people could be and I loved that relationship we had. There were many nights of deep conversation about anything and everything under the sun, countless fits of hysterical laughter, as well as grueling bouts of pain and agony accompanied by the kind of crying that comes from deep inside you...the kind that makes you think life as you know it will end that very minute.

All of a sudden...almost overnight...it was over. No explanation, no apologies...nothing. Maybe you healed yourself from within of whatever was ailing you, maybe you found another type of therapy...who knows. I didn't heal as quickly or as easily. My pain lingered on and on and on. I needed you more than I needed anyone on this earth and I still do. You are the only one who would understand me...the ONLY one who could comfort me in this time when I need someone so desperately. While you were in pain, I held you while you sobbed and wept uncontrollably and literally could not stand on your own two feet. I held you in my arms and choked back my own goddamn tears to be strong for you. I did that because I love you like you were my own family and I still do even though I know your feelings have faded. Maybe I failed you in some way...but I don't think so. This one's on you, I'm pretty sure.

Now...I need someone. I need someone to hold me up and I need a shoulder to rest my head on while I weep. I need someone to be strong for me and you're not there. I'm in pain and it hurts like hell and you're not fucking here. I was there for you every GODDAMN time you needed me and I was there for you when nobody else was. I listened to you while you cried and I made myself available for you at a moment's notice. You're not here for me and it kills me that the ONE person I need is no longer there.

I need to move on. I now need to deal with my life without you. Without someone to run to, to cry with, or to comfort me. Every day that I wonder why...I grow a little colder inside. I feel a little more angry than I did the day before. I hurt a little bit more every day that I wonder why you abandoned me when I needed you the most.

I wish you the best of luck in finding whatever it is you're looking for.

Goodbye.